In Pursuit of the Balance and Energy That Makes Us WholeBy Joe Schroeder, PhD, AWSA Associate Executive Director Henry David Thoreau once famously wrote, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation….” As I would continue to encounter this quotation over the years, and especially as I was taking on ever more responsibility as a leader in education over time, these words would strike an increasingly deeper chord -- especially in this season of the late Wisconsin winter, when it often seems that tedium and conflict and stagnation can reign. It’s at these times in particular where I can feel out of sorts, out of balance, perhaps feeling like I am leading that “life of quiet desperation” that I have worked so hard to avoid both at work and outside of it -- as I try to hold all the responsibilities and aims of my life somehow together in a world with almost unceasing demands for my limited time, attention, and energy. If this scenario resonates, read on -- as I share some proactive measures aimed to help you address this all-too-common leadership and life challenge. Put First Things First In his best-selling classic, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey explains how too many of us let the urgent rather than the important rule our days. This of course is especially challenging for leaders who have such a long list of people and task demands before them. An approach for addressing this is to identify a short list (2-5?) of activities that would represent the highest and best use of your time BOTH at work AND outside of it each week. Once these activities are identified, build a weekly / monthly calendar that gets those activities put in FIRST. And once you can articulate what a high-impact calendar looks like for one week/month (when you are living your priorities both professionally and personally), you can then replicate that for every week/month of the school year. But it starts with you -- in the driver’s seat of your life -- taking the time to identify what those priorities are as a high-impact leader, as a high-impact spouse/partner, as a high-impact parent, etc. Once you (A) identify these priorities for both your professional and personal life, (B) put them in your calendar regularly, and (C) build the other demands for your time around them as “appointments” that fit in where they can rather than as “drivers” of each day, then you will increasingly feel the energy that arises when you are putting first things first. Weed Your Garden Reflect on the last week or month. What people, activities, and habits continue to waste your time, drag you down, suck your energy, increase the feeling of desperation? Do any themes or patterns emerge? While these are challenges for us all, we often have much more control about which situations we continue to place ourselves in and/or where we offer our attention than we might initially think, a thought which is powerfully conveyed by this Cherokee parable. In the story, an old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil -- he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego. The other is good -- he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you -- and inside every other person, too.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old chief simply replied, “The one you feed.” As the parable implies, where you spend your time shows BOTH your priorities AND your discernment. And where YOU spend YOUR time also has an impact upon who YOU are becoming over time. So which wolf are you feeding as evident through where you are regularly spending your time, energy, and attention? And most importantly, the removal of what regular energy-sucking interactions, activities, and/or habits from your days and weeks would reflect “addition through subtraction” for you? Seek Wholeness A key concept of our “Managing to Lead” workshop is a three-sided challenge that I believe all education leaders face: (1) providing effective leadership that serves all students well while (2) efficiently managing operational demands of the job (3) without neglecting vital aspects of our lives which make us whole human beings. At those times in my life when I feel like I am drifting toward “a life of quiet desperation,” one or more of those three aspects of the leadership challenge is not right in my life. And the most distressing of these desperate times is when the third challenge (i.e., my life outside of work) is not right. And that’s because when I am not “whole” outside of work, how can I possibly present myself regularly in my work space -- with all its demands and challenges -- ready to effectively and efficiently provide the leadership, energy, integrity, and wholeness that the role demands? So what makes you whole? Exercise, friendships, faith, service, marriage, parenthood, hobbies, travel? Whatever does, are you giving these core aspects of your life the resources and care they need to grow? In many ways, your ability to serve well at work depends on your ability to honor what makes you whole and energized outside of it. In summary, let’s be real. Seeking balance, energy, and wholeness are lifelong pursuits for anyone, aims made more challenging for leaders with seemingly limitless demands for their time. Yet that said, I believe we each were made for a purpose. And while we don’t have time to take care of everything, I do believe that we are each provided sufficient time to accomplish our most important things at work and beyond. Being clear about priorities for yourself at work and outside of it, identifying a small set of activities which best align to your purpose, and then living your priorities (in and outside of work) as the norm rather than as the exception will provide a host of benefits. Among these, you will provide yourself an ongoing renewal of energy and resources for the hard leadership and life work ahead, you will model the wholeness and fruitfulness for others you lead, and you will avoid the “desperate” February drift that is all too common. So what’s a proactive action step or two from this article that can help to improve your trajectory? And if you’re really serious about making inroads at this, please consider attending, with your administrative assistant, our next scheduled Managing to Lead workshop, where we go into much more detail about Taking a Leap Forward. Regardless, peace and many blessings in all things, dear colleagues and friends!
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